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Funeral Etiquette: Do’s and Don’ts for Attendees

Writer: Keisher DownieKeisher Downie
Feb 182 min read

funeral flowers

Attending a funeral can be a challenging experience, and knowing the proper etiquette can help you show your support for the grieving family while navigating this sensitive occasion. Here are some essential do’s and don’ts to keep in mind when attending a funeral.

Do’s:

1. Arrive on TimePunctuality is crucial. Arriving on time shows respect for the family and the deceased. If you're running late, quietly enter without drawing attention to yourself.

2. Offer Condolences Express your sympathy to the family. A simple “I’m sorry for your loss” can go a long way in showing support. If you feel comfortable, share a cherished memory of the deceased to provide comfort.

3. Dress Appropriately Wear respectful and subdued attire. Traditional funeral attire typically includes dark colours. However, some families may have specific dress codes or preferences, so be mindful of that.

4. Be Respectful Keep your voice down and be mindful of your surroundings. Maintain a respectful demeanour throughout the service and avoid distractions like phone calls or loud conversations.

5. Follow the Program Pay attention to the order of service and follow along. If there are specific rituals or traditions, participate respectfully as a sign of support for the family.

6. Listen More Than You Speak During conversations, be an attentive listener. Allow the grieving family to share their feelings and stories if they wish. Sometimes, just being there to listen is the best way to support someone in grief.

7. Offer Practical Help If you're close to the family, offer specific assistance, like helping with meals or errands. Grieving families often appreciate practical help, especially during the days following the funeral.

Don’ts:

1. Don’t Make It About YouAvoid sharing your grief or stories that overshadow the deceased’s memory. This is a time for the family to mourn and remember their loved one.

2. Don’t Speak inappropriately Refrain from discussing controversial topics or making inappropriate jokes. The focus should remain on honoring the deceased and supporting the family.

3. Don’t Avoid the Family Some attendees may feel uncomfortable approaching the grieving family, but avoiding them can come across as insensitivity. A kind word or gesture can provide comfort during a tough time.

4. Don’t Criticise or Judge Keep your opinions to yourself regarding how the family chooses to grieve or plan the service. Everyone copes differently, and it’s important to respect their choices.

5. Don’t Forget to Follow Up After the funeral, continue to support the grieving family by checking in on them. A simple text or call to see how they are doing can mean a lot during their healing process.

Attending a funeral can be a delicate experience, but adhering to these etiquette guidelines can help you navigate this challenging time with grace and compassion. Your support can make a significant difference for those who are grieving.



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